i rarely compromise, but today..

i settled for a cheese scone at the french cafe, the one where the french people sell american food, not the one a block away where the french people sell french food, because i couldn't bring myself to pronounce the word 'croissant' to the hipster frenchie guy behind the counter.

i heart the tamale lady

i really do. she gave me a sticker and everything and it's the first thing going up in my new apartment in ... fill in the blank..
i heart drinking pitchers of cheap stella, i heart chipmunk cheeks, i heart backyard revelry, i heart sigrid's headband and adri's cleavage, i heart the triumvirate of redheads i was surrounded by, i heart walking without wind, i heart the mint, i heart drunk dialing, i heart laura's attempt at MY song, i heart my bjork aerobics dance-a-thon, i heart that final beer that sealed the deal, i heart the can of pringles i devoured afterwards and i even heart my hangover because it is a tiny pinch behind my eyeballs that reminds me of how much i love: my friends, the feeling of leaving this incredible city with great memories, my unknown future and just life in general!

the grueling anticipation of my fist bikini wax

summer is here! bbq's are smoking, beer cans are cracking open and my time in crotch covering jeans is over. along with summer, comes the bathing suit- however rare it may be here in 'breeze till your ears are numb' san francisco. well my opportunity to slough off layers of black clothing and hit the beach was upon me. and with that, the decision that it was finally time to go where many women have gone before and let some stranger rip each and every hair out of my unruly pubic place. with my mind made up i combed the internet for tips and advice. i devoured each horror story with relish and allowed that 'bad ass i jumped out of an airplane so i can do anything' feeling to rise up in my chest. after downing a beer at lunch, popping two ibuprofen like all the glam mags recommended, i mosied on up to the salon that held the future of my pube perfection. my friend andrea went first. she was in and out like that and i realized it was going to be a breeze. i was escorted into the tiny room and saw the pot of hot wax simmering away. i flung off my jeans with excitement and gave a glance at my cootch, savoring the fact that it would be all clean and pretty after the intense pain of a thousand gooey bandaids ripping out each and every hair follicle was over with. my technician came in and ordered me to show "how high". i gestured with my panties. then in disgust she screeched out "TOO SHORT!" "TOO SHORT!"
my pubes didn't make the cut... or rather they were too cut. the lazy trim job i embarked upon two weeks ago apparently rendered the fuzz too short for the wax to properly cling to and rip to shreds. i insisted she do a test strip for good measure. she slapped it on and yanked it off, but she was right, only about half the hairs achieved lift off. and my tech was unhappy. so unhappy that she just breezed away and left me to tug my trousers back up and walk out of there with the fabric sticking to my thigh, the wax still firmly in place.
later on when i was trying on ill fitting and poorly made bathing suits at american apparel, there was a giant blob on my thigh where my jeans fabric had adhered to the wax and rubbed onto my skin. i couldn't get it off for the life of me.
i have never felt more dejected than when i later stood in my bathroom, scrubbing my thigh with a loofah, a wash cloth and exfoliant in an attempt to unhinge the wax. the only sound reverberating in my ear was TOO SHORT!
(and honey, if mine were too short, i'd really hate to see too long!)

the san francisco i knew and loved has moved on without me.

i keep wondering to myself, when did this city just decide to move out of the 1990's and into the year 2000 without me? for the last year or so i've come to the conclusion that this living breathing city has slowly transformed, while i'm still stuck back in the sf of the 90's. back when the mechanical museum was at the end of the ocean by the sutro bath ruins, back when you could go to new dawn for cheap breakfast in filthy booths, when spaghetti western was a place that had unlimited refills of dr. pepper on tap and not just a movie genre. back when boogaloos was for hipsters only. back when the best saturday night date was a trip to the arcade on broadway street. back when everyone worked at ultimate yogurt in the castro and uncle mame's was the best place to get old timey photo booth pictures. back when powell's was in hayes valley and the waitresses wore house slippers, back when the shoe pavillion on mission street was just an abandoned building and had the best vintage sign in the city that read: Leed's. before wind. before rain. when the gay safeway didn't have a starbucks or jamba juice attached to it and it had that cool old timey sign with the car/truck thing on it. when the safeway select soda cost .25. before h&m, before forever 21. when sanrio was two stories tall and we'd shoplift little twin stars barettes. back when you could buy 7 inches at epicenter and then watch bands play for cheap. back, back, way back. another time, another era. this city was my childhood, my youth, the place i lived when i was 19, 20, 21 and now i'm 31. i saw it all, i remember it all. i miss it. all of it. it's not that the city is dying, it's just that my san francisco is somehow just a memory. i feel like i woke up one day and everything was different. i still love the city i live in, but i recognize it's not the same one. i think that realization couldn't have come at a more perfect time. definitely ready to move along and ready to see my new york of the 2000's.

this shit is bananas

80 degree weather? check. mud bath? check. swimming in an olympic sized geothermally heated swimming pool? check. eating vegan japanese? check. seeing the yeah yeah yeahs for free? check. catching a british horror flick? check. spending 24 hours of mega quality time with my sweetheart? priceless.
looks like it's going to be a kick ass birthday!!!!!!!!!

i got married and it was totally awesome!

the wedding was incredible, laura looked stunning and all of our very best friends and family attended. i couldn't have imagined it any more perfectly.

in honor of the lovely month of march and my newleywed status i shall compose 5 things i love about laura "rock steady" davis this week:
1. she looks up pasta types on google images
2. the guy who play neil schweiber on freaks and geeks flirted with her
3. she has been waking up and making me coffee in the morning
4. she will do a great job assembling the new turntable we just got
5. she still leaves me love notes
6. she bought me a "plain slice, to stay" last night

okay that was six.. but how can you boil down so much perfection into one short list?

other obsessions this week:
god damn that new yeah yeah yeahs record. i can't stop! make me stop!
back on the double lattes
bingo! i'm gonna get to play bingo!
hand towels
coconut syrup

and for something i never do, but should, here's a list of things i totally hate this week:
people who ask, but don't listen to the answers
jealousy
battery run outs on my ipod
running out of cat food
buying groceries and not using them
being bored at work
...
super bored.

we all need a room of one's own... to scream at the top of your lungs & dance in!

feeling stressed? freakin out? getting married in a week? details are killing you?
no problemo. just head on down to the karaoke box with your favorite person and spend a full hour screaming 80's ballads into a microphone at the top of your lungs while dancing in the most ridiculous fashion you can think of. $20 gets you a full hour (before 7:00pm)!

oh and it helps if your booth mate can sing, that way you can enjoy an incredible version of purple rain!

my latest crazes:

1. truman capote (so i'm a little late on the whole thing, but wow, have you seen that movie yet?)
2. and along with that goes philip seymor hoffman. i've loved everything he's ever done. i even loved that crappy movie 'love liza' just b/c he was in it. he's a brilliant and understated actor.
3. and how about that patricia clarkson? she's gorgeous.
4. so go on & pick up the new vanity fair hollywood issue. great pix of jason schwartzman, the two actors mentioned above, & zooey deschanel. hot.
5. shaving cream
6. chai (i was off the stuff for several years, but now happily back on)
7. wedding planning, which includes japanese lanterns, pink cameras, post valentines day candy & fake birds.
8. neiman ranch bacon = heaven. don't tell!
9. that short story collection by david eggers. i have been saving it for, i guess, a few years now. only allowing myself one story at a time.
10. i'd kill for a milkshake right now. but the ice cream cake we got at work with strawberry ice cream and chocolate brownie crust is tiding me over for right now.
11. that chuck close exhibit i saw at the moma today was pretty interesting. if not a little insane. let's hear it for holograms!
12. thank you olympic games. you've given me something to live for. 2010 vancouver, so there!
13. the greensboro four. thanks to pbs and a happy black history month to all!

From Russia with Love

oh my god, my favorite ice skater Yevgeny Plushenko took the gold! yes, i officially have olympic fever! i have been following figure skating since laura and i lived in oakland. i'm especially smitten with the men's figure skaters. the dorky costumes, the cheesy moves, i love every last corny second of it!

ah glorious bagel day!

how i love you so much more than waxy donut day!

so, every friday at my work we are treated to free "breakfast". it rotates weekly between bagels and donuts. BUT, last the last two weeks, the rotation was out of whack and we had donuts 2 fridays in a row. and god damn, did everyone bitch about it.

and everyone complains mercilessly about the freakin' donuts every other week. no one likes them and i especially hate the donuts with a passion. but every week, i'm still out there in the kitchen choosing between an old fashioned maple glaze or the apple fritter.

sigh, how quickly my life has become a dilbert cartoon....

time consumed

well here's where my life has been for the past few months.
phew.
we just finished preview weekend and it went swimmingly.
the actresses are all so talented. so come on down and check out the play. cuz you better believe it's the last one i'll ever work on again. my house is a wreck, i can't keep my eyes open past 3:00pm, my neglected cat hates me and i am turning into a total bitch face. (sorry laura!)

thank god for kabuki hot springs, cuz it saved my life on sunday. that and the valium...

wow, how fun was 2005?

it was truly a banner year!
i'm not huge on reflecting and resoluting and all, but let's recap.

1. this was the year i turned the big 3-0. i was so freaked out by it for so long and now that's it's over and done with, it feels great. when people ask me my age, i proudly say 30. and then glow as they gush about how young they thought i was. and then obsess that this is their way of saying i'm immature... ha! anyways, 30 i love ya!
2. along with taking that plunge, there was the literal plunge of sky diving. it was super fun to have my family up here to experience it with me. and the first time since i've moved away from home that i've celebrated a birthday with them. if that's not a sign of maturity, then i don't know what is... it was also really great to be with such a wonderful group of friends. i cherish my friendships that have grown this year w/ andrea, damon, sal and kat. and it was awesome to have my old pal matt along for the adventure as well. i'm so happy we are still in touch after all these years.
   
3. my sister got married, and although i think it's creepy that she married a cop, i did appreciate the fact that she included laura and i in the event. it was a bonding time for our family and laura was the model girlfriend all day long. i felt truly taken care of. i'm happy for my sister that she is living the life she desires.
   
4. i mastered contact lenses, which was a surprisingly big deal for me. i still feel proud of myself every morning when i pop them in.
5. i made my stage debut!
   
6. i reconnected with my brother and my niece after about 6 years. that felt awesome and loving and heartfelt. i just called him today to invite him to my wedding.
7. laura and i celebrated our five year anniversary!! of course, this comes as no shock to me. i still find myself exclaiming out loud "god, i love my girlfriend" when i realize how well she knows me by calling to leave me a voice mail that says" i thought of you and had to call you because i just saw a giant plastic snowman that was tangled up in a branchless tree, you would have loved it". i am so lucky to have found her. it's astonishing. our love is boundless.
8. i discovered new obsessions like the sudoku puzzle (!!!!), white noise machines, chiropractics, resolving bitterness, seal and send invitations, cooking light, book clubs, all things london, dangly earrings, moisturizer, soba noodles, frozen yogurt, karaoke and the quest for the perfect pair of boots.

what more could a girl need? 2006, bring it on.

puddley

it rained sideways today.

i walked too, too much in pointy boots, completely paranoid about the skinny heels getting stuck in sidewalk cracks, grates and train tracks.

i flaked on a cocktail offer in favor of pajamas and cat cuddling. i always feel really guilty when i flake out on stuff. i feel really californian.

i think that when people die, if there really is a heaven, it will be an exact replica of the sushi boat place on church street. i'm not saying this b/c the food is like super incredible or the experience is totally amazing or anything. i went in there tonight for some steaming soba noodles in broth and tuna maki. it's not that the place is elegant or classy. it's not elaborate or fancy. but something about being in there and waiting for my food made the happiest i've felt in ages. the sushi chef stands in the middle of the boats and looks up from his chopping to greet and thank guests going in and out. the waitress/ hostess was plump and had an incredible smile. diners grabbed the little trays from the boats, fascinated, with a real sense of urgency. the back splash of the "moat" were these tiles with waves on them that looked so old timey and vaudevillian. i was completely dazzled and felt slight regret at having placed my order to go.

and i love my chiropractor because she talks to me about true happiness and herbal remedies and she always wears turtlenecks. she reminded me that people have the power to make themselves happy. i need to remember that. no one else. i get so caught up in what other people think, how i compare, when i know i just need to focus inward.

the ants are invading because of the rain. i rigged up sammy's cat dish inside another bowl of water so the ants couldn't penetrate the moat. woah, there's a theme here. it reminded me of in cloud atlas, when the characters put all their furniture (table legs, chair legs) in bowls of water to keep the ants away.

i made friends with a girl on muni today. it was a nice change of pace from my usual scowl and ipod escapism.

MARCH 12th, FOOLS

you're all coming right? the gay wedding of the century!!!!

things i've found in my truck bed when i get in my car in the morning:

1. wire hanger
2. bag of flamin' hot cheetos, half consumed
3. mountain dew bottle
4. skittles strewn about
5. various washers, nuts, bolts, etc
6. chewed gum
7. plastic water bottle

the saga continues...

i'm still in chronic pain as a result of this stupid (and what i initially thought was a minor) car accidents. my neck and shoulder hurt all day long... no relief.
i found myself a chiropractor who is helping a lot. she put me under layers of heated blankets, zapped me with lasers and cracked my fragile bones. she explained that when a car isn't damaged in an accident, it means that your body absorbs all the shock instead. nice...

anyone with vicodin to spare, send it my way!

TINY CITIES by SUN KIL MOON

Holy toledo! Have you heard this yet? Mark Kozelik, my favorite singer songwriter (and sometimes actor) has taken his band Sun Kil Moon to the absolute max with this album of Modest Mouse covers that are graceful, slow and jangly. Absent is Isaac's signature screechiness, which makes Kozeliks take on it all the more endearing & tender.
The best part is, he picked all the real gems like neverending math equation, grey ice water and trucker's atlas. If you leave me a comment here, I promise to burn you a copy. I need to share this with as many people as possible, because I am over the rainbow, enamored beyond belief.